Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
