discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
