What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
