I got chris browned last night
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
