Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
