I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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