I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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