i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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