I just made out with a guy for $7.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
