She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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