I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
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she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
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She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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