she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just want to make out with him forever
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
