just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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