I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
