I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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