It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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