Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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