you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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