Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think my nap took me to another dimension
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
