Can Purell be used as lube?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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