I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
whose parrot is this?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
