me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize