what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
