Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
