All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
