your room smells of hookers.
And success
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
