The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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