I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
