We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
