At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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