The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
