So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
