He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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