so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
only you would photoshop your dick
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He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
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He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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