Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
