Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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