White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
