so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
