it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
