question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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