She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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