I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
