I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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