It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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