I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
