You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though