Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone

(802): View more from Vermont

Tonite tequila might call you

(802): View more from Vermont

Be prepared

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(802): Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone (802): Tonite tequila might call you (802): Be prepared http://tfl.nu/qx1s

Replies (7) Good night (2587) Bad night (562)
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(281): View more from Texas

On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?

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(281): On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do? http://tfl.nu/4exj

Replies (48) Good night (1545) Bad night (6040)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.

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(715): Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel. http://tfl.nu/yi2m

Replies (15) Good night (3304) Bad night (1032)
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(360): View more from Washington

Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.

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(360): Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk. http://tfl.nu/ed4r

Replies (12) Good night (4572) Bad night (766)
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(+33): View more from France

On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."

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(+33): On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..." http://tfl.nu/o65f

Replies (26) Good night (7953) Bad night (1537)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......

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(781): So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one....... http://tfl.nu/w37i

Replies (67) Good night (2672) Bad night (9121)
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(360): View more from Washington

Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day

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(360): Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day http://tfl.nu/ru8t

Replies (30) Good night (1866) Bad night (4693)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.

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(724): You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room. http://tfl.nu/1sdd

Replies (7) Good night (1190) Bad night (3495)
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(705): View more from Ontario

My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.

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(705): My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/aval

Replies (4) Good night (2403) Bad night (962)
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(509): View more from Washington

Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.

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(509): Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here. http://tfl.nu/v9yq

Replies (10) Good night (1409) Bad night (1434)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?

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(570): there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i? http://tfl.nu/asxg

Replies (5) Good night (1781) Bad night (605)
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(469): View more from Texas

Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.

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(469): Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS. http://tfl.nu/dcv0

Replies (3) Good night (1541) Bad night (475)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.

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(605): Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me. http://tfl.nu/wtwx

Replies (8) Good night (1337) Bad night (600)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.

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(704): Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success. http://tfl.nu/ssjq

Replies (4) Good night (523) Bad night (372)
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(707): View more from California

You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.

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(707): You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting. http://tfl.nu/dgl2

Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (314)

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