Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving

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  (513): some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving http://tfl.nu/s2es
  Replies (12) Good night (602) Bad night (2569)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.

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  (610): I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/pcj6
  Replies (38) Good night (4237) Bad night (759)
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  (951): View more from California

  There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.

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  (951): There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS. http://tfl.nu/ppbc
  Replies (63) Good night (6773) Bad night (733)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm

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  (203): too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm http://tfl.nu/fqzs
  Replies (43) Good night (1250) Bad night (4079)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store

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  (520): just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store http://tfl.nu/shho
  Replies (12) Good night (3906) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea

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  (904): Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/h1b1
  Replies (18) Good night (5819) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.

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  (734): I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out. http://tfl.nu/oiev
  Replies (5) Good night (2906) Bad night (1248)
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  (415): View more from California

  apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window

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  (415): apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window http://tfl.nu/1uz3
  Replies (9) Good night (3866) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.

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  (813): Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich. http://tfl.nu/j6pr
  Replies (10) Good night (1708) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I care about my drink far more than her feelings

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  (507): I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink (815): I care about my drink far more than her feelings http://tfl.nu/v6if
  Replies (3) Good night (1566) Bad night (422)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?

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  (801): Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention? http://tfl.nu/lgvd
  Replies (10) Good night (388) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw

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  (847): Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw http://tfl.nu/0d0p
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You're the common denominator of my blackouts.

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  (202): You're the common denominator of my blackouts. http://tfl.nu/n8nz
  Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.

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  (646): i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months. http://tfl.nu/9phq
  Replies (9) Good night (618) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".

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  (501): While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors". http://tfl.nu/n1au
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (193)

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