Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
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So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?