Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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