Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
