If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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