STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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