just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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