so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
