i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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