How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
