he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
