I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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