I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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