So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
