so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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